See also: sex addiction help and pornography addiction myths

Sex therapy, online by video or chat

Young couple dance energetically

Beth Mares, Registered Psychotherapist (Ontario)
works by video therapy

Find your groove--whether you lost it or have yet to find it.

I help both single people and couples with problems that get in the way of sexual satisfaction--lack of expertise in courtship, body image problems and insecurity, loss of libido or of attraction to one's partner, low sexual desire, confusion about sexual orientation or about who you love, sexual dysfunctions, adapting to physical limitations or changes such as ageing or menopause, intrusive thoughts, sexual addictions, habits that bother you or your partner or that could get you into trouble, marital conflict over sex, problematic flirting, infidelity, distrust and lying.

Sex therapy for typical problems

For many of the people who have come to me for psychotherapy, sex is a source of unease and stress. I help individuals and couples to deal with real problems and to shed unwarranted anxieties. For some it only requires short term therapy focusing on physical intimacy; it might be a matter of identifying and dealing with turn-offs, correcting misinformation, learning to communicate about what one wants and doesn't want, or learning body-awareness and how to relax. The very common problem of performance anxiety and awkwardness following disruptions to a couple's love life caused by stressors such as work stress or lack of sleep typically resolves in short term therapy.

However sexual difficulties can result from many things, including childhood trauma and/or attachment problems, a previous bad relationship, conflicts over in-laws, values or cultural beliefs, or depression. For some people problems in the bedroom reflect a relationship or a life that is far too stressful or that is not working well in general. I work with those broader and deeper issues as well.

For more on couple therapy for enhancing intimacy and for getting past infidelity, see marital therapy.

The fetish isn't the problem!

(unless it's causing a real world problem such as endangering you)
Problems caused by pressure to conform

An under-recognized but common source of sexual distress I will call sexual conformity; people trying to force their sexual expression into forms that they or the people around them see as "normal" and acceptable. Sexuality can become a source of distress and anxiety. For some people "meat n potatoes" lovemaking is just right. But our species is immensely creative; no two people could write the same poem, and it doesn't make sense to expect that different people will be turned on in the same way. We each need to figure out what works for us. However I have seen many people feeling bad and/or being put down by loved ones or others because the ways they love or the ways they reach orgasm do not fit with the dominant cultural myths. I help such people to feel good about themselves, enjoy their sensuality, expand their erotic repertoire in some cases, and enhance intimacy with their partner if they have one.

Sexual obsessions, intrusive thoughts, and disturbing fantasies
These can interfere with work and relationships--and take most of the pleasure and satisfaction out of life. Psychotherapy can help you to escape from repetitive thoughts so you can get on with your life.

Help for habits that could get you into trouble
Unsafe sex, peeping, flashing, illegal pornography

Therapy can help you to figure out what to do to keep yourself safe and open up new options for sexual and emotional satisfaction.


You might also be interested in some of the letters I have received and my answers.

Low sexual desire--husband's libido close to zero

Lesbian bed death

Sex therapy or psychotherapy for a sexual dysfunction?

Sexless marriage

Irrational jealousy

Contrasting cases of infidelity

Conflict over strip bars


Beth Mares, Registered Psychotherapist, offers online psychotherapy for sexual problems throughout the Greater Toronto Area, all of Ontario, and all of English Canada. She works with clients in Northern Ontario including North Bay, Thunder Bay, Ft. Frances, Sault Ste Marie, and Timmins.